I left myself

I thought of making this blog a diary, like how the title says. I wanted to flip the pages of my old diaries and type them in. I don't know why, I just felt like doing it. Maybe later. Ugh. I can't seem to let the words in my head out. You know some people are just really good with words. When they write, when they speak, words seem to flow so smoothly and then we're reading it and we thought, wow we have a perfectly structured sentence here. What am I saying? I'm hopping from one topic to another. I can assure you, I am the least intelligent person I've ever known. I may have a chain of grades and student awards, but the heck with it. Intelligence is not measured by grades. I need serious self-reconstruction. I know why this happened. I never wanted to admit this because it's too painful to admit the fact that you've changed me into another person. A person that I'm not very pleased to live with. What have you done? Why did you kill me? Or was it my fault instead? I should have been stronger and never let anyone change me. But I guess you were the only one I had, I ignored it when I was slipping away. All I wanted was to be with you. Actually I'm pondering this over now. Why did I want to be with you so bad? Why did I restrict myself for only you that I have sorta delete my entire social life for you? Why would I do that? This isn't me. Why was I too afraid to fight back? Fight for myself? Why am I still afraid now? What has happened to me???????

I've been doing "drugs" of some sort. Boy, tell me it's good. I take high doses of each and they're highly addictive. Maybe I should suggest them too =)

1. Malikjuana
2. Payne killers
3. Styleroids
4. Horaine
5. Tomlibacco

Extremely irresistible, highly recommended for screwed-up souls in need of a rapid mood improvement. =)